Tiffani Borders is the mother of 5, in which 3 of her children are consider special needs. She is the CEO of Uplifting Ability, a company dedicated to helping moms managing the day to day care of their special needs child through medical record organization. She is the founder of Mommy UpliftHER United, a platform where moms can connect to share, learn and uplift one another.

Momma Stop These 4 Things NOW
Posted On: May 14, 2021

The one thing a mother of a special needs child strives for is to be better today than she was yesterday.  One way she can do that is by learning what works and what doesn’t work.

Over the years, I discovered 4 things that were not working for me and decided I had to stop doing them immediately. When I made the change, I noticed that my ability to be a better mom and advocate for my special needs child improved drastically. Today, I want to share how I made some simple changes in my life that created a much-needed change in my day-to-day situation while parenting my child. Below are 4 habits simply STOPPED and I am so happy I did!


Stop Being Impatient


Let life happen! Thinking you can rush your child to do things that he or she is not yet capable of achieving is a big mistake. This action is a recipe for frustration and disappointment. Don’t be so quick to be impatient because your child isn’t moving as quickly as you can or maybe as quickly as other children. Accept your child for who they are and the abilities they have. Enjoy your child in the here and now for the things they are capable of doing. Live for today!


Stop Listening to Other People

Disclaimer… I am not talking about health professionals here. You should always consult with your child’s health professionals.


When I say stop listening to other people, I’m speaking of those folks who don’t know what it takes to care for your child. Who are those folks?

  • People who don’t have children
  • People who don’t have a special needs child
  • People who have no clue about your child’s specific special need
  • People who have not taken a walk in your shoes



Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself and Your Child


Feeling sorry for yourself as a mom of a special needs child is a time-waster. We have things to do mom and sitting in sorrow is not one of them. I would be the first to admit that it is easy to fall into the oh woe is me while raising a special needs child. We can get so caught up in all of the amazing stories moms of typical kiddos tell, that we tend to forget how amazing our child is. Focusing on the things our kiddo can’t do can drastically overshadow all of the great things our child can do.

The same thing goes for feeling sorry for your child. Our children don’t feel sorry for themselves because of their situation. When and if they ever do, it’s because someone else made a big deal to or in front of them. Our children generally live their best lives. Tackling life and situations using their own best efforts. It would appease you, mom, to do the same.


Stop Overthinking Everything


Finding out that your child will have a few extra needs than a typical child can send your mind into overdrive. It is easy to start to think about all of the negative what-if situations. Let’s be honest, doctors and other healthcare providers typically give you information based on the worst-case scenario. That type of information can send you down the dark hole of oh woe is me. Which we have already discussed how that doesn’t help anybody. Over-thinking about your child’s situation can have your mind in places other than truly moving forward with your child’s care. Those misplaced thoughts can make you miss out on the amazing process of achieving goals others deemed impossible. Stop everything your and your child’s situation and live in the now. Enjoy the process!


“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” UNKNOWN


I recorded the below video back in 2019 during one of my Mommy Talk Tuesday episodes. Check it out! This video discusses the above four items in detail and brings you into my world with my daughter.



Thank you for stopping by momma!

Remember you are enough and you are doing the BEST you can.

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